I'm sitting in a coffee house I would frequent in my youth. In an odd way, a band from those days are playing their ultimate show. Winston and the Telescreen. They once played in my backyard for a friend's birthday. I'm not trying to make this some weird twist-of-fate coincedence; it's just odd.
I'm glad I got here early cuz I got a decent seat. Some rando dude took the other seat. I should've LIED. DAMMIT!
I see friends trickling in and I can't offer my table CUZ OF THIS RANDO! He's yawning. Maybe he'll leave after this chick in a shiny dress and misplaced hat. She ASKED THE AUDIENCE TO SING ALONG. NOT AMUSED. She was okay, until this little stunt.
27 June 2013
30 May 2013
I'm watching my friend flirt with some rando dude trying to load up the jukebox. It's quite amusing.
My week started off rather pleasant. Hanging out with friends in a backyard, eating great food, and great conversations. There was no drama, which is always a staple at a gay event. It's refreshing to be out of the gay element for a bit.
I was talking with my bestie from high school who is in the same boat (living at home with the parents due to the economy) and we basically do the same shit- hole up in our rooms and appearing for meals. It was refreshing to hear because I've realised I'm not the only one doing that.
My week started off rather pleasant. Hanging out with friends in a backyard, eating great food, and great conversations. There was no drama, which is always a staple at a gay event. It's refreshing to be out of the gay element for a bit.
I was talking with my bestie from high school who is in the same boat (living at home with the parents due to the economy) and we basically do the same shit- hole up in our rooms and appearing for meals. It was refreshing to hear because I've realised I'm not the only one doing that.
29 May 2013
23 May 2013, part two
I never understood why I was drawn to characters like Liz Lemon, Olive Penderghast, Bridget Jones, Hannah Horvath, Mindy Lahiri, Carrie Bradshaw, etc.- until recently. Those women struggled to make their own niche for themselves and openly screwed up along the way. I can seriously relate and empathise.
As a child, I never really could identify with male characters because they were so stereotypically written. And if they were sensitive, he was usually a weak character. I matured and my life began to include more females who were strong like the women I admired on tv and film. Females were more complex and men were one-faceted, save for Will Truman on Will and Grace. Even now, I still identify/resonate/admire these strong female leads. They taught me how to learn from my mistakes and how to feel in my own skin.
As a child, I never really could identify with male characters because they were so stereotypically written. And if they were sensitive, he was usually a weak character. I matured and my life began to include more females who were strong like the women I admired on tv and film. Females were more complex and men were one-faceted, save for Will Truman on Will and Grace. Even now, I still identify/resonate/admire these strong female leads. They taught me how to learn from my mistakes and how to feel in my own skin.
23 May 2013
I really need to stop trying to wrap my head around Asperger's Dude and his new relationship. I truly blame my inquisitive nature.
I watched an episode of Girls earlier- Hannah finds out she has HPV. I forgot it ended with Hannah and Marnie dancing to Robyn, after Marnie diddles her Skittle following an encounter with some douchebag male artist (I worked in a museum; a percentage of male artists are assholes, like N.G.). This episode helps centre me. I know that at the end of the day, my worries will fade away much like Robyn's voice in the song.
Some times, I wonder if I'm doing something wrong, then I remember that I'm being my true self and some dudes just can't understand or handle it. I've been in the opposite position of yesterday's occurence and while I admire honesty, I'm annoyed by the time wasted by emotional fuckwits.
So, I'll just continue, learning from mistakes and keeping a positive-yet-cynical attitude; I'll keep dancing on my own.
I watched an episode of Girls earlier- Hannah finds out she has HPV. I forgot it ended with Hannah and Marnie dancing to Robyn, after Marnie diddles her Skittle following an encounter with some douchebag male artist (I worked in a museum; a percentage of male artists are assholes, like N.G.). This episode helps centre me. I know that at the end of the day, my worries will fade away much like Robyn's voice in the song.
Some times, I wonder if I'm doing something wrong, then I remember that I'm being my true self and some dudes just can't understand or handle it. I've been in the opposite position of yesterday's occurence and while I admire honesty, I'm annoyed by the time wasted by emotional fuckwits.
So, I'll just continue, learning from mistakes and keeping a positive-yet-cynical attitude; I'll keep dancing on my own.
22 May 2013
22 May 2013
I'm always apprehensive about meeting guys from dating websites; today was no different. Thankfully, we had been texting regularly. The conversations were topical and some times dirty, but nothing substantial. I had an odd feeling this might not progress, so today's initial meeting had lowered expectations.
Within five minutes, I was certain it wouldn't progress, but I couldn't back out, so I took him for coffee. It was pleasant and I let him talk more than me. Call it a blessing, call it a curse, but I know I wouldn't be able to discuss the feminism (or lack thereof) of Girls or The Mindy Project; the influence of Dorian Lord on soaps; the lack of people of colour on the aforementioned tv shows; why new albums from Suede, The Ocean Blue, and My Bloody Valentine are just as relevant as they were 20 years ago; or why Downton Abbey is fucking brilliant.
In order to understand his character better, I watched Mamma Mia!, his favourite movie. It wasn't that good. I hope I never have to watch it again. After watching the film, I told him that I didn't care for it. I think he was admired by my willingness to watch it and admit my honest thoughts. I should've made him watch Dancer In The Dark.
Within five minutes, I was certain it wouldn't progress, but I couldn't back out, so I took him for coffee. It was pleasant and I let him talk more than me. Call it a blessing, call it a curse, but I know I wouldn't be able to discuss the feminism (or lack thereof) of Girls or The Mindy Project; the influence of Dorian Lord on soaps; the lack of people of colour on the aforementioned tv shows; why new albums from Suede, The Ocean Blue, and My Bloody Valentine are just as relevant as they were 20 years ago; or why Downton Abbey is fucking brilliant.
In order to understand his character better, I watched Mamma Mia!, his favourite movie. It wasn't that good. I hope I never have to watch it again. After watching the film, I told him that I didn't care for it. I think he was admired by my willingness to watch it and admit my honest thoughts. I should've made him watch Dancer In The Dark.
16 May 2013
There was a guy totally into me, but could never really show it, due to (his claim) his Asperger's Syndrome. I didn't feel like babysitting him- telling him when to pick up on social cuess, so I ended anything could happen. And now I see him with someone else and they're all about the PDA. I seriously hoped for that and nothing! He told me that I was his "ideal guy on paper." What the fuck?! I don't understand and I don't want to see it when I'm trying to have a good time at the bar. Thankfully, I had a distraction for most of the night.
13 May 2013
I've yet to figure out why Girls resonates with me. Hannah Horvath is a reminder of myself at her age- unsure about where I fit in and what I really want to do with my life, dating someone totally wrong for you just because it's a relationship, and the unconditional support of friends.
There are comparisons to Sex and the City, which I get and with which I identified as well.
Writing as always a hobby for me- something I did well and others enjoyed reading my pieces. I briefly considered a career as a writer, a journalist, but my fascination with human behaviour took over and a call to become a therapist took over.
I reserved my writing to a blog, a blog in which I recapped my life of adventures with friends, vacations, a long distance relationship, work, and actual dreams from the night before. I even tried to emulate Bridget Jones's diary, but that was short lived.
After watching Girls, I had it in my mind to start writing essays, like Hannah; they've yet to be written. I have ideas for them, like Hannah, I just need to fucking write them. But this is a start. Of what, I don't know.
There are comparisons to Sex and the City, which I get and with which I identified as well.
Writing as always a hobby for me- something I did well and others enjoyed reading my pieces. I briefly considered a career as a writer, a journalist, but my fascination with human behaviour took over and a call to become a therapist took over.
I reserved my writing to a blog, a blog in which I recapped my life of adventures with friends, vacations, a long distance relationship, work, and actual dreams from the night before. I even tried to emulate Bridget Jones's diary, but that was short lived.
After watching Girls, I had it in my mind to start writing essays, like Hannah; they've yet to be written. I have ideas for them, like Hannah, I just need to fucking write them. But this is a start. Of what, I don't know.
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